You work out of a Hotel?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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