just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
too bad you live with your parents still
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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