He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
