yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Randomize
