i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
