You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
