Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
