glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
