scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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