Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
