I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
