we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
