her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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