It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
