i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
