It's Friday. Sex?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
