Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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