Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
