Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
