Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
