Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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