ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
