Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
