I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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