The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
