i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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