Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
