fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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