Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
