I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
