her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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