Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
