I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Enjoy the penises
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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