ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
