I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
