So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
