and next time when you feel me up, do it right
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
