worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
