no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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