ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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