Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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