Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
