Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
