Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
