Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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