somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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