And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
