dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
