It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
