youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
