New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How does one acquire holy water?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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