You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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